the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
