Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
