this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize