actually, I'm a sock model
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
and you fell through a lawn chair
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
