We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Randomize
