It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
