just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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