Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
You are the jesus of drinking
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
