so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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