Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
