Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
