Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(775): View more from Nevada

god, a vagina is an amazing trump card

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day

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(847): View more from Illinois

another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?

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(917): View more from New York City

we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.

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(410): View more from Maryland

I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.

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(330): View more from Ohio

The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind

(1-330): View more from Ohio

Well it worked

(330): View more from Ohio

Not the point

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier

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(580): View more from Oklahoma

You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.

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(317): View more from Indiana

I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?

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