Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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