dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
