i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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