I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
