Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
