girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
And then he peed in my hair
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