I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
