I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
