I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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