i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
this hospital has no fireball
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
