Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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