I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize