Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
