And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize