going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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