I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
