I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
