So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
