your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
