Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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