the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
