is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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