I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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