We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
