I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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