I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
