My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
My liver just had a heart attack.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
