Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
