bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
