hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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