There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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