I haven't been this sober since birth.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
God, I missed his penis.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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