I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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