Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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