is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
