Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
