it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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