its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
