Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
