I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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