We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
