can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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