smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
