just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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