You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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