I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
