If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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