There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize