Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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