how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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