butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
