Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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