just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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