Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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