So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
