I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
