Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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