He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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