YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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