You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
