your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
