Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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