ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize