This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
