cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
