So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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