i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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