hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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